


Ghosts That We Knew

by webofdreams89



Category: Batgirl (Comics), DCU
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webofdreams89/pseuds/webofdreams89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A strange, tight feeling clenches in Stephanie’s chest, and she thinks she recognizes just how screwed she is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts That We Knew

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Sage/shobogan for the Batfam Christmas Exchange.
> 
> I don't believe there are any major triggers, but for some confusion, unhappiness, and anger.

Stephanie’s well aware she’s being followed long before she notices anything tangible like a blur of motion rounding a corner when she turns or the soft echo of footsteps through an alley.  It’s just a feeling really, a raised hair on the back of her neck sort of sensation.  She’s tried mentioning it before, these weird sort of sixth sense feelings, but Damian scathingly informed her that the drug store hair dye she uses to cover her roots is seeping into her brain and killing what few cells she has (she’s a natural blonde, thank you). 

But the goose bump inducing sensation, quick chills up her spine as she moves through Gotham at night, has never been wrong yet.  So yeah, she knows she’s being followed.

The stalker, whoever they are, is well trained, sticking to shadows a few blocks behind her, loping around so they’re never right on her tail.  She does her best not to tip them off that she knows they’re there, pretending to leisurely patrol the city while keeping her eye out for crime, but really she’s slowly making her way toward the heart of Crime Alley where she’d last heard Batman and Robin were patrolling.

Stephanie wants to radio in and alert Oracle about the tail, but it seems too big a risk.  So far, they seem content just to follow her.  Radioing for backup would, most likely, only provoke them into action and she doesn’t know if they are alone or have backup lurking somewhere around the city. 

So rather than call in, Stephanie waits until she gets to the edge of a building, shoots out a line, and leaps.  Flying through the air, she taps a short message in Morse code into the receiver in her cowl, flicking the radio on and off in succession and hoping that Oracle is paying attention and the tail isn’t.

_Being followed._

It isn’t something they’ve ever done before, so Steph hopes it is enough.  After several long seconds of radio silence, she sighs and continues on toward Crime Alley. 

Patience and subtlety have never been Stephanie’s strengths however, and she wants to put a stop to this now.  If they really intend to hurt her, they probably would have done that by now, maybe before she’d even picked up on their presence.  

It probably isn’t wise, but Stephanie feels the need, the burn for confrontation pulse through her.  She drops down into an alley and waits, preferring to have the confrontation on the ground rather than on a rooftop. 

“I know you’re there,” she calls out loudly, holding her body still, ready. 

The first rush of adrenaline begins to course through her, a familiar itch just underneath her skin, and she waits.  After a long moment, Stephanie hears movement above her and readies herself to strike.  She watches as a small, black shape descends from above, and she clenches her fists, the leather crackling anticipation.

She expects them to lash out, but instead they only speak.  And that voice.  She knows that voice.

\--

“So,” Stephanie says, dropping down into an alley next to a black blur of limbs, “we’ve known each other for a while now, Batgirl, but we never hang out.”  She elbows a guy in the nose behind her and hears the crunch as it breaks before she ducks a punch from the front.  She kicks out into a guy’s kneecap and he drops like a sack of batarang.

Cass quickly punches out two last guys, the alley quiets but for the moans and groans of some Sal Maroni’s third string fall guys, and she turns to the other girl.  Stephanie cracks her knuckles a few times and grins at her.

“I…didn’t know you would want to hang out…with me,” Cass says carefully.  She has her guard up, Stephanie can tell, and she doesn’t like it.  The second Batgirl intrigues her and has since even before they’d met.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Stephanie asks her.  “We have a lot in common.”

Cass cocks her head to the head to the side and it’s a little unnerving since she can’t see her face at all.  She forces her smile to stay in place.  “Like what?” Cass asks.

Steph thinks about it for a moment, her hands on her hips.  “Well, we’re both vigilantes, and live in Gotham.”  Leaning closer so her lips near Cass’s ear, she adds, “And both our dads are villains.”  She pulls away and waits expectantly.

“I don’t…understand what you want.  From me,” Cass says.

Steph playfully pushes on Cass’ shoulder.  “I just want us to be friends, silly.  Now c’mon, let’s change out of our work suits and get some waffles.”

With a small smile, Cass follows her out of the alley.

\--

“I don’t really get the appeal,” Cass admits, eyeing the ice cream cone Stephanie bought for her.  They’re sitting in the grass in a park, and Steph thinks about how nice it is to be able to hang out outside of uniform during daylight hours.  They’ve been doing that a lot lately, Stephanie showing her around to the Gotham that she knows. 

She takes her out to try new foods and ice skating and even bought nosebleed seats to the ballet because Steph knows how much she loves it.  They go to a carnival and ride the Ferris wheel over and over until Stephanie feels like she’s going to throw up the corndogs she ate earlier and just spend hours talking with one another.  Stephanie’s never had such a close friend before.

Steph has come to look forward to spending time with Cass more than she’s looked forward to anything in a long time and it’s a little scary.

“You’re speech is getting so good,” Stephanie says absently, before grinning.  “But what’s there to get?  It’s a waffle cone.  Like a waffle, the breakfast food, but crunchy and made for ice cream.  It’s a revelation.”

Cass raises an eyebrow before delicately biting into the edge of the cone.  She chews it thoughtfully before her eyes widen in surprise and she excitedly takes another bite.  A large chunk of the cone breaks off and falls into her lap, and Cass gives her a sheepish look. 

A strange, tight feeling clenches in Steph’s chest, and she thinks she recognizes just how screwed she is.

\--

“Do you ever think about your parents?  About how much they’ve affected the person you’ve become?” Stephanie asks.

Cass looks over at her from where she lays next to her on a blanket atop Wayne Tower.  It’s one of the rare times that they both have the night off and Cass invited Stephanie to watch a meteor shower with her.  High up in the air like this is the only hope they have of being able see anything above the lights and smog of Gotham.  Being the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne definitely has its perks. 

“Sometimes I do, how I wouldn’t be here if my parents weren’t the way they are,” Cass admits.  “I think about a lot of things though.”

“Yeah,” Steph says with a sigh, “I do too.”

They lay in silence for a long time just watching fiery streaks hasten across the sky.  This high up, it’s unnaturally quiet and belies the city’s typical chaos and sort of reminds Stephanie of the calm she tries to exude in Cass’ presence now.

“I had a daughter before I met you,” Stephanie says suddenly.  Her heart is beating hard in her chest because this isn’t something she’s ever really told anyone that didn’t already know and she just hopes Cass won’t judge her.  “I gave her up for adoption.”

She feels Cass’ hand lace with her own.  “That had to be a really difficult decision for you to make.”

“The decision wasn’t what was difficult,” Stephanie admits.  “I knew I was in no position to raise a child.  I was a broke, teenaged vigilante with my dad in jail and my mom addicted to prescription pills.  What was difficult was giving her up.  I couldn’t even hold her or look at her because if I did, I knew I’d never let her go.”

She feels tears slide down the sides of her face, her vision blurring, and Cass’ hand tightens around hers.

“I think about her a lot,” she says when the tears begin to dry.

“When she’s old enough,” Cass says, and Stephanie can feel Cass’ dark eyes on her, “I bet she’ll think a lot about you too.”

\--

Stephanie has never seen Cass cry before, and it breaks her heart to see it now.  The death of Batman – Bruce – has been hard on them all, but Cass takes it really hard.  Stephanie’s watched Cass shoulder her pain, put on a brave face while she tried to deal with it, but Stephanie can feel her pull away from her and that hurts too.  Especially now that she can admit to herself just how far she’s fallen for Cass.

“I don’t know what to do or say to make you feel better,” Stephanie admits, burying one of her hands in Cass’ hair and rubbing soothing circles into her back as she hugs her.

Cass has quieted down, but she still clings to her friend.  “That’s okay.  You’ve done so much for me already.  You’re so good to me.”

“I wish I could do more for you,” Stephanie says honestly.

“That’s why I love you so much,” Cass says, and her voice is so quiet Stephanie’s sure she misheard her.

“W-what?” Stephanie asks, pulling back so she can look at her.  Cass’ eyes are puffy and red, but she’s so beautiful to Stephanie even in her sorrow.

“I…” Cass says, a pained look on her face, but it’s a different sort of pain than she had a moment before.  “I love you,” she admits a moment later.

Stephanie releases a deep breath.  “I love you too, Cass.  So much.”

She isn’t sure exactly how it happens, but the next thing she’s aware of is Cass’ lips on hers, Cass’ hand slipping under her shirt, Cass moaning above her as she grinds her hips down into Stephanie’s. 

It’s hot, fevered, frantic, and Stephanie’s positive that she’s never felt quite like this before.  She’s had sex before but she’s never felt this sense of uncontrolled completeness settle within her, and it’s the most real, most alive she’s ever felt before. 

When it’s over, when Cass is falling asleep in Stephanie’s arms, all she can think about is how she would do absolutely anything for this person.

The next night, after fighting together, Cass hands over the Batgirl uniform and disappears for the next year.

\--

“You have really improved, Stephanie.”

Her fists drop to her sides and she takes a disbelieving step backward.  She draws in a sharp breath, releases it, and repeats just to buy herself time, to try to figure out what to say. 

Cassandra stares back at her.  Or at least Steph assumes she does because she’s wearing a black domino mask, her face more uncovered in uniform than Stephanie’s ever seen it. 

“T-thanks,” Steph replies.  She’s never known what people meant when they said their tongue felt heavy in their mouth, not until now at least.  Her fingers briefly touch her comm and she says, “I don’t know if you got my last message, O, but everything is okay here.  It was just, um,” she says, unsure of what to even call Cass now. 

Her costume is all black with a yellow bat on the chest and utility belt.  It reminds Steph a lot of the original Batgirl uniform. 

“Batgirl, can you repeat that?” Barbara asks, her voice buzzing over the comm.

“Black Bat,” Cass prompts, her voice thick and low, that same roughened voice Stephanie’s heard nearly every night since Cass handed over her Batgirl uniform nearly a year ago. 

“W-what?” Steph sputters out.  She’s unconsciously leaning forward.  Cass has always been like a magnet to her, something to draw her in without even a word or a touch in a way no one else ever has before. 

It is both a relief and unnerving that even without a year of contact Cass still has that sort of power over her.

“Black Bat,” Cass repeats, “It’s what I go by now.”

“Right,” Stephanie says, letting out a breath.  She presses her comm again.  “It was just Black Bat.   Nothing to worry about.”

“She’s back in town?” Steph hears Barbara ask.

“Like you don’t know everything that goes on in Gotham,” Steph says.  It’s a joke, but it comes out dry on her tongue.

“Right,” Barbara replies, picking up on Stephanie’s distress.  “Well, I’ll let the two of you catch up then.  Have her swing by the Firewall sometime and see me.” 

“I will,” Steph says, and the line cuts out.

A long silence lapses between the two of them, Stephanie fidgeting under Cass’ gaze and shifting from foot to foot.  Stephanie is just glad Cass has a mask on or she’d feel really uncomfortable under her dark, intense gaze. 

“I…really missed you,” Cass says finally.  She starts to reach out but seems to think better of it, instead clenching her fist and dropping it to her side. 

“I-I, uh, yeah me too,” Steph mumbles, averting her eyes. 

She can feel a jumble of emotions wriggling around inside her and she hates it.  She hates feeling insecure, like she’s floundering, especially in front of Cass.  Cass who was her closest friend, who she had conflicting feelings for for months leading up to the day Cass handed over the Batgirl uniform and left Gotham.

“It’s nearly dawn,” Cass says.  “Would you like to get breakfast?  Then we can…talk.”

“But we’re still in uniform,” Stephanie says quickly.  It’s an excuse and they both know it.  Her cheeks flame under Cass’ scrutiny. 

This time Cass does grab Stephanie’s upper arm, squeezing tight enough that she can feel it, and lets out a gentle laugh, one that Stephanie has really missed.  “We can change,” she says, and shoots off a zipline.  “Grab on?”

What feels like a million different replies flit through Stephanie’s mind, and none of them make any sense to her or feel like the right thing to say.  Instead, she mutely steps forward and wraps her arms around Cass’ neck for the first time in a year.  She wishes she could squash down the incredible thrill she feels when Cass wraps her arm around Stephanie’s waist and presses a button on her grapple gun, shooting the both into the air. 

It’s a rush, that old, worn-soft leather shot of adrenaline she always used to get when she and Cass fought back to back.  She’s felt tinges of it in the past twelve months – it’s hard not to when you’re fighting for your life on a nightly basis – but it was never like the way she felt when Cass was fighting with her.  The jolt of adrenaline, a straight shot to the heart, is intense and feels so foreign now that she gets a stomach ache when their feet hit the top of a building.

Stephanie wordlessly follows Cass to the nearest Bat bunker, watches her punch in the code, and slips inside.

“So you know the new codes,” Stephanie says conversationally as she walks to the lockers.  She keeps most of her spare clothes at the Firewall, but likes to have spare clothes around for situations like this where she needs to get out of uniform and into civvies quickly.

“I’ve been kept up to date,” Cass replies.  Well, that’s not cryptic at all, Stephanie thinks to herself.

She stands there and watches Steph as she pulls out a spare outfit and hands it over.  “They’ll be too big, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Thank you, Stephanie,” Cass murmurs, taking the clothes from Stephanie’s hands.  Their fingers touch and even despite both their gloves, Stephanie can feel it and forces down the gasp threatening to escape her lips.

“Heh, no problem,” Steph replies.

Cass begins pealing her uniform off, and Stephanie quickly turns around because a naked, sweaty Cass is not something she can deal with right now, not when her brain is already short-circuiting.

“You don’t have to turn away from me, Stephanie,” Cass says quietly behind her.  Cass lays her hand on Steph’s bare shoulder and it’s intense, sending a noticeable shiver down her back.

“For right now, I think I do,” she says, working to keep her voice calm, even. 

Cass gently squeezes her shoulder, and Stephanie has to work to keep the tears from her eyes.  It doesn’t quite work.  “Please don’t,” Stephanie says, her voice choked.  She feels Cass’ fingers uncurl from her shoulder, hears her step back a step or two.

“Okay.”

The tears finally break through and Steph cries harder than she has in months.  She hates being like this, especially in front of Cass, who she’s missed and loved so much for so long.  She hates how vulnerable she is in front of the other girl.

“Y-you l-left,” she says through her tears.  “I told y-you I loved you, we s-slept together, and you still left.” 

Stephanie turns around then because Cass can already hear her cry so what does it matter if she sees it too?  It isn’t exactly the first time.  “For a year, I’ve been wracking my brain about what I did to make you leave like that.  Especially when you said you loved me too.”

Cass closes in on her, wiping some of the tears from her cheeks with her fingers.  “You weren’t the reason I left Gotham, Stephanie.  Far from it.  I meant what it when I said I loved you.”

Stephanie looks up quickly.  “If it wasn’t me, then why did you leave?”

Sighing, Cass replies, “It was something I promised Bruce, a failsafe in the event of his death.  It was never, ever about you.  After the kisses we shared, after that night we shared, it made leaving so much more difficult for me because all I wanted to do was be with you, and I couldn’t.  I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone, and being away from you was the only way I could keep my promise to him.”

A strange, unfamiliar swell of hope blooms in Stephanie’s chest.  It’s tentative and it scares her how much weight she instantly puts into it.  “Do…you really mean that?” 

She almost feels like she should be upset that Bruce would make Cass promise such a thing, but he’s always known how to push everyone’s buttons to get them to do what he wanted, but she’s sort of used to it.

Cass cups Stephanie’s cheek with her palm.  “I meant every word I said, Stephanie.  I never wanted to leave you.  I don’t, _can’t_ expect you to forgive me right away, not after leaving without a word.  The only thing I need to know now is if we still have a chance, if you still love me.”

Stephanie stares hard at Cass for a moment before she leans forward and presses their lips together.  Their kiss is short, chaste, but it’s filled with so much potential.

“I never stopped loving you,” Stephanie murmurs.  “I don’t know if I ever could.”

The smile that breaks across Cass’ face is that same blinding, intense smile that Stephanie has missed so much it hurts, and she returns it. 

Stephanie reaches forward and grasps one of Cass’ hands in her own.  “You don’t have to right now, but I do expect you to tell me everything at some point.”

“I will.  I’ll tell you everything,” Cass assures her.

Stephanie smiles at her again.  “Now, why don’t we finish getting dressed and get some food.  And after that, I can reintroduce you to Gotham.  How does that sound?”

“I think that sounds wonderful.”  Cass stands on her toes and presses a kiss to Steph’s cheek.  “Let’s go.”


End file.
